Random Russian Memes #12

Translated, with some comments

Good time of day, humans!

This is our regular serving of Russian memes.

from https://x.com/pretizor

— Lord Jesus… Pyotr Kuzmich, what kinda shit is happening again?!
— It’s being, Valera. Existence

There’s probably a nod to Heidegger’s Existence and Being (экзистенция isn’t really used outside of philosophical treatises).

акщь https://x.com/fanatism_hater

— Are you worried?
— A little
— First time?
— No, I’ve been worried many times

from https://x.com/pretizor

— We’re increasing your salary 0.9 times!
— uh-huh

from anekdot.ru

The whole world is a kids’ morning party, and I’m this bunny in it

from https://x.com/sugarbaget

”Out of every five words I understand two”: most intelligence agents experience emotional burnout from reading Gen Z conversations.
Almost 60% of secret service employees tasked with monitoring chats of the younger generation suffer from consequences of emotional burnout.

from https://x.com/ptnhlo4vr

NEWS
ME
”Gotta check what happened in the world while I was sleeping”

from https://x.com/pretizor

No hostages. No lever. No trolley
The problem is in you

from https://x.com/qwmjfz

1917: haha we’re fucking smart, let’s overthrow the tzar
1932: good morning fucking intelligentsia counterrevolutionaries, today we’re building a channel from Salekhard to Bishkek

from https://x.com/Nickro666

— You still working at the post office?
— Nah, got a deal with a car wash, bringing them clients

from https://x.com/Hagnir

— Did you survive?
— Yes
— At what price?
— At the price of everything

from anekdot.ru

Connection to Hell established successfully
— Humans are not friends to us, pee in their slippers
— Yes, my lord

from https://x.com/TrushinBV

Mathematics taught me that the more obtuse you are, the wider your horizons

There’s no specific term for obtuse, so Russians just call it “dumb angle”. But it still translates.

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